The new rules of dating

by Beacon Staff • February 15, 2006

I would really love to get my hands on the memo that explains when the traditional idea of "dating" became something else entirely.

When I hear my mother, older friends or even professors discuss their dating escapades, I feel like I'm being told folklore.,Attention Generation Y: Could we please come to a consensus on our platform on relationships?

I would really love to get my hands on the memo that explains when the traditional idea of "dating" became something else entirely.

When I hear my mother, older friends or even professors discuss their dating escapades, I feel like I'm being told folklore.

Once upon a time, guys would pick up a girl (at her door, not halfway down the street) for dinner or even a movie. Often, if the encounter went well, the guy would inquire for a chance to take her out again.

Soon enough, there would be a succession of such outings -which used to be defined as "dates"-and the two individuals would be considered "dating." Eventually these individuals, after repeating the dating pattern, might conclude that they wish to be closer and therefore partake in a mutually exclusive dynamic called a "relationship."

Sure the lack of social constraints in today's pseudo-dating allow for certain convenient freedoms. Such relationship liberties, however, mostly leave many pondering, "I know this type of dating can be fun, but is it?"

Nowadays, people are "together" with a song and an anniversary all before they've even ordered appetizers.

For our generation, it seems that people do not take gradual steps before a relationship. Instead, they start the relationship first and date after.

Singles are less inclined to get to know a person before they "hook up" which causes the confusion between sexual and emotional intimacy.

The no-dating trend propagates the assumption that every time two people "hang out"-whether that time was good or bad-it will end with at least a kiss.

Before, a kiss served as a quaint but effective form of encouragement. But how can a person be encouraged by a "date" that took place in the Emerson Dining Hall?

Even chivalry (you know, the idea of guys opening doors and old-fashioned gestures like that) has taken a severe hit.

People are just breeding laziness that in turn induces apathy. As stressful of a ritual as it may be, there is something to be admired about dating.

It means someone is taking the time to impress you, to entertain you and to invest his or her time being with you. How can such a constructive act have been overlooked when our generation reworked its policies of courtship?

There should be a consciousness in our actions. By making dating a custom of the past, we enable a pseudo-dating trend which instigates a more unpredictable, more complicated and increasingly corrupted relationship dynamic.