Dear Auntie Em,I’m a male at Emerson who has only ever been with females and thoroughly enjoys sex with them. Recently I have discovered that I enjoy it when I let my casual partner penetrate me anally. Does this make me gay?
Dear Anal Gratification,
Let’s be clear: The only thing that makes a man gay is sexual attraction to other men. Unless you wear a pinky ring; that is also a potential indication of homosexuality.
So if the ‘casual partner’ you mention doesn’t have a penis, you needn’t fret. You are indeed a straight man.
However, it seems you’ve stumbled into something important about your sexual identity. Men who enjoy anal play experience a world of pleasure most men never enjoy. Those who get an erection during their prostate check at the doctor’s might know what I’m talking about. It’s all about stimulation.
Take my third husband, Javier. I never minded providing oral sex, but I was initially hesitant to stick my finger in his anus when he asked. He said it enhanced the experience—and the look on his face was certainly worth it.
Eventually he taught me how to use all sorts of contraptions. There were traditional vibrators and butt plugs, but his favorites were the anal beads. They’re these little plastic balls that you insert one by one into the anus, then slowly pull out. I never used them, but I enjoyed his slow moans.
Sugar, I’m not saying you need to try all these things, but I encourage you to explore some of your options. Don’t be afraid to
experiment, but be safe.
With oodles of encouragement,